Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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