At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
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