btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
well you can't waste a boner
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
