Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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