Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
