On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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