Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Randomize
