she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Randomize
