Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
