The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
