Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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