Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
