I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
