I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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