Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
and i looked up. we had an audience...
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Please don't give away my fajitas
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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