Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
