dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
