No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize