So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize
