He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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