dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Randomize
