I'm sorry my penis didn't work
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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