I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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