told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
