i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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