Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
4 words: hood of his car
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
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