try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Randomize
