Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
You're like the curious george of whores
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
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