wake up i wanna do it froggy style
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I have aggressive nipples.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
