drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
