Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I think I sprained my soul last night
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
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