Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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