I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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