I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
it's great music for shaving your balls
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
