i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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