Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize