K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
whose parrot is this?
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Randomize
