Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
