So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize