So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
