After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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