It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
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