doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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