then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize
