Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
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