I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
The chlamydia really affected his face.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
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