the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Is it penis luge time yet?
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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