She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
