I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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