Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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