Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Randomize
