We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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