handjob tips. give me some.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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