he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
