why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Randomize
