I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
