my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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