is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
home. puking in laundry basket.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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