Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
We named our party play list daddy issues
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
