Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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