I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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