hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Randomize
