took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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