Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
